Selfish player

I step out into a cool summer night 

The air fills my lungs and soothes my anxiety riddled body

I walk out and feel the calm breeze on my torn up skin, wrapping around me like it's comforting my wounds

I've grieved this relationship a million times, a million ways, yet it was always somehow easier because I knew you would come back. I knew how to play my cards so I could be assured that you were hooked as much as I am. 

I give up everything for you 

At the drop of a hat

I tear myself apart for your happiness 

Even though you're still sad

I do everything to fix the problem 

While knowing damn well I am the problem.