snow

i've had 

29

crushes.

the problem is

almost

none

were

reciprocated. 

recently

i've developed

another

on one of my

friends,

forbidden.

to her

the last time i ate

was this morning

blueberry pancakes

warm

the smell of cinnamon

wafting from them

i ate a bite

then stopped

i imagine

ten year old me

running to the table

what is it?

i've always found it

confusing

why

are we tied to

one person

only

why

is romantic love

more important

than friendship

why

do i push people away

yet long