Terror is valid

For the first time in my life I am terrified.
Terrified for my life and the lives of others. 
Because this is real, this is actually happening.
Standing on the front steps before class, hearing murmurings 
in the classrooms, half the students, including me, are here.
The teachers inform us what the lockdown protocol will be if there is need,
how we can go home if we don't feel safe.
Show us where the darkrooms are, lock the doors.
Whispers in the hallways, everyone looks tense.
School shooting, 
they whisper.
We have been threatened with a school shooting.
No one knows what to do –
fake laughter and scared eyes fill the school
and for the first time ever
I am terrified.
Terrified for my life and the lives of others.