Waiting

Sometimes it's really hard to breath 
In fact it's hard right now 
My eyes are filling with what feels like fresh bathwater and my chest is tight and feels like it's on fire 
The tears streaming down my face get cold by the time they reach my chin but they're still warm enough for my phone to think I'm typing when I'm really just staring at it waiting to hear back from you but I won't will I?
Probably not
So I'll sit here and think about if you would so maybe I could make my hands stop shaking and my eyes stop burning 
It's still really hard to breath 
I'm trying to make it stop but sometimes it's just not that easy
Sometimes when my heart aches and I finally listen to it, it won't stop screaming 
Sometimes it's about you 
It's about how much you can hurt me in a matter of seconds 
It's about how much I trust you not to set fire to my chest the way you do 
It's scary trusting you 
Because in the blink of an eye you could make it worse 
In the blink of an eye you could disappear into thin air like smoke 
You would think something would work right? So I don't have to feel like this till you decide to talk to me 
But nothing does 
I sit here, tears running down my face, head pounding, and throat closing as I wait 
Just waiting 
And waiting 
Till I realize you aren't coming back