Writing Is All I Have

Sometimes life gives you more than you can handle 
Sometimes you can't figure out what to do with all the pain you feel because you know the right thing will hurt more 
Sometimes you need help with just existing because someone hurt you so bad that even that hurts 
And no matter how many times you hear the right thing, doing it will take too much out of you 
Sometimes being alone is the scariest part of feeling this way because when you're alone there's no distraction
No matter how hard you try to trick your mind into thinking about other things it goes back 
So here you are again 
Sad, alone, and scared 
So you turn to the only thing that's always been there for you 
Writing 
You pour your heart into these words like somehow it'll make you feel better 
But deep down you know this is only another distraction and when this piece has been finished you'll go back to feeling the same deathly way you did before
And I say you like I'm talking about someone else 
But the truth is I just can't put my pain into words because none of them are strong enough 
Everyone is scared for me but none of them are as scared as I am because they don't get to hear what I do 
They don't get to feel paralyzed every time they're reminded of someone or something 
Every inch of my body aches and every thought makes that ache just a little stronger 
Simple things are painful and hard 
It's enough to make someone scream 
It's enough to make me scream 
I've been hiding these monstrous feelings for months and all that did was feed them 
So now they're bigger and they destroy more and more every day 
I want to hide from them but how do I hide from something I've created? 
I'm not scared of them killing me because I'm already dead 
I'm scared of them making me live and feel and love 
These monsters I created roam my head like giants 
I don't know when or if they'll die 
So I write 
And I'll keep writing to see if that makes them weak 
And if anyone reading this feels the same way, I give you the same advice