wish you knew

I wish you knew about me
I wish you would listen to these words I can say
I wish you would know that I can tell you’re not listening
I wish you could know that I am capable of change, that I have changed
For you
For this, I wish you would apologize

I wish you understood about me 
I don’t need  you to panic when I tell you
I am not okay
I need you to look at me and tell me
That we are all broken and that I
Am simply a piece of this shattered world
I just want to feel wanted
Just like you
I don’t need your concerned apology

I wish you would pay attention to me
Not just what I have done wrong
I wish you would think of me and think of how capable I am, not how
I don’t do as much as I could be doing

I wish you would ask me about my day and
Actually mean it
Not just get upset when I tell you fine
I wish you could realize that I am tired 
Just like you
I wish you would look me dead in the eyes
And for this, say
“I’m sorry”

I wish you wouldn’t assume things about me
I am only human too, there’s
Only so much I can do
I wish you wouldn’t think I am hiding something dangerous
Only because I’m not willing to show you 
I wish you would remember what it was like for you, all this new world experience and
Reckless moments

I wish you wouldn’t think you know more than me
Only because you’re older
That doesn’t mean you’re wiser
I wish you wouldn’t pester me until I ask you to leave
And then yell when I need you the most
I wish you would take uncertain steps with me
Not just hold me back
Please tell me you’re sorry

I wish you wouldn’t give inordinate descriptions in order to blame who I am 
I wish you would not push me even after I ask you not to
Just because I am capable does not mean it is necessary
Do not overwork what you cannot control

I wish you would not tell me that you know who I am
We both know you’re lying
Do I get an apology?

I wish you would accept your mistakes
Don’t tell me to fix them
They’re yours, not mine
You’re killing my planet, my future
You started that cycle
And you expect me to feel bad for you

I wish you would understand that while I depend on you for some things,
I don’t need you for everything
I wish you wouldn’t keep me away from things that may be joyful
Just because you don’t like it 
doesn’t mean I have to hate it

I wish you would remember
That I am only human
I wish you would remember that
So are you

I wish that you would remember that while I am the only one still growing
We are all still learning
I wish you would remember that the choices I make should be for me and
In this moment
Only for me
I wish you would remember that I have changed
Just for you 

I don’t want your apology, 
Not for this
I want you to remember
And maybe change for me

If these words are harsh, I’m
Not sorry
At least they’re real