Writing

I want to write about everything

the steady rain

the misery

the end of school

the upcoming event

the natural world

the current political universe of doom

but I can't phrase it

Constantly

all the time

I feel like crying

I've just had enough

enough of the girls accidentally hitting us with balls in P.E. class without them apologizing

enough of depressing experiences and losses;

You had my back.

I had yours.

Because that was the deal.

That was our deal.

No negotiating.

No way around it.

That's what it is.

I email you when I shouldn't.

The bus to the Bellingham Amtrak Train Station was long and grueling; nothing short of a suffocation chamber for its passengers that day. Crowded, overlapping voices.

I lie awake in bed

With my thoughts -

No AC and it's hot and humid.

I open a window.

It doesn't help.

I can feel the ghost of you in my every movement.

The blankets you snuggled into,

Just last night.

That feeling, once granted in 

brings warmth and a violet hue 

It beads my eyes, of now burned through 

pin cushion medicine