Writing

When we talked about college

Four years away for you

Five for me

You want to go to MIT

"Math", you said

4.7% acceptance rate

Buddy, trust me, if anyone can make it it's you and that's not even bias,

My therapist told me not to punch waves

I think it was supposed to be a metaphor

I don't punch waves

I throw myself into them

Relentlessly

Until I can't feel the pain

If I called you

Right now

In the middle of the night

If I called you in tears

And said I don't know

I don't know how to do this anymore

Maybe I never did

One second I'm fine

The next

I want to see fields

Of girls

Standing tall to the sun,

Their imperfections

Shined upon the brightest,

Their souls sparkling

We can do hard things.

We can push through heartbreak,

The tears of feeling like we're not wanted,

Like we're not good enough,

We can splash in them.

We can laugh and cry in the same breath

I told myself

Over and over

My future lies within that year

Within a heart so icy

It froze my own

Within eyes so guarded

They became attackers.

By seeking to reclaim our past