Writing

I'm so old

I know I'm not really but

It feels like it.

Like I'm a teenager

For real this time

Like I'm normal

And my parents trust me

And I can text?

And I'm normal

I am speechless.

My thoughts don't make sense

and my voice struggles to come out and make a sound.

I am wordless

and I write but my cold fingers have forgotten the keys 

or how to hold a pen

A story you're told about once every year,

Details increase as you're judged old enough.

Then one year it stops, the story as sparse as it can be,

Everybody feels things,

No matter what they say or how they act,

Emotions run wild through the brain with no control.

Everyone has choices,

Her eyes fall upon me,

an array of pale blues and silver light.

They hold a look I cannot name,

yet my heart leaps all the same.

Her head tilts,

and a smile blooms across her face —

Body 

My body 

the one I don't really like anymore 

maybe I use to like her 

when I was younger and no one really cared 

if you had stomach fat or things that jiggled or a flat nose