Emptying

2/14/22

I am but change, count 

My heart out in pennies…

A dime for a dozen, here are my thoughts but you must be ready.

Nickels rest upon my shoulders, piling up, watch

As my problems grow and push me down and watch

As I start to drop quarters wherever I walk, these

Are remnants of me.

See me drop coins into a jar, change burying change burying 

Me.

I must bury me.

It’s the only way to survive. 



2/10/22
I revert back to music because that at least, is real and won’t leave me. I fell in love with their voices. 

I’m okay.

I used to drown in books. I’d become the characters trapped in them, we’d be infinite together. I fell in love with the characters. 

I loved her for a while. I don’t mind admitting it. Nothing happened because I couldn’t lose her. She was my best friend and I needed that to continue. 

There are some people so precious to you, that you can’t love them anymore than you already do. Otherwise you’ll scare them away.

I love the thought of leaving. Of just running and running and open roads and sandstone cliffs

I love the idea of being far away










2/9/22
List poetry

Places to visit: Phuket

I can never sleep in this house, dream demons with hands around my throat

I remember their silvery stalks, touching the sky. Felt like flying

The light from this room is compromising the rain

I'm cold and shaking from too little sleep

Her hair cascading to her waist is
Tangling with her headphone cords again







2/8/22
There’s music playing on my headphones right now. Songs that I’ve never heard, even though I’ve listened to them thousands of times before.

Your light from outside is harsh on my eyes, a melting frosty moment that could hardly mean anything if it weren’t for nothing.

How is everyone so calm?

There’s a film of silver over my eyes, turning everything monotone and shiny, it’s the lack of sleep I suppose. Dream demons finally caught up to me.

No one startles when scared anymore. We simply stare ahead, hoping to move past and keep forcing our way. 

Laughter has always been a revelation, it just took us this long, plus a worldwide deadly pandemic to realize it.

Paper hearts are beautiful, sweet moments. Just don’t let them near water. 




2/7/22

Maybe even the most seemingly perfect moments are not real.

 Maybe we are simply glitches in this world, only ghosts that can see each other but 

not the other. 

Maybe we are all nothing but because this is all we know we seem to be something. 

Maybe we all wander aimlessly, this is what we do isn’t it, what 

exactly are we looking for so desperately, 

we’ll probably never find it if we haven’t found it yet. 

Maybe we are all fragments of the sky, simply bits of dust that take form for a little while, then 

dust goes back to dust, I am simply dust. 

When I go back to dust what happens, do I

 go back to stars as well, 

objects that glitter brightly until you get close? 





2/2/22
5,7,5,7,7
All I can think of

Is how I am aging and

There’s only so much

Time left for me to live and

Moments to be remembered