Regrets

    [Garrett, Rhogan, and Sajlem (All humans) enter simultaneously and sit down]
Garrett: So, Sajlem, I understand that you will be translating for your brother, due to Rhogan’s lack of tongue and my lack of will to learn sign.
Sajlem: Yes, indeed I will.
Garrett: So, why don’t you both introduce yourselves and tell us about your past, okay?
[Rhogan nods and enters a long period of signing to Sajlem.]
Sajlem: Rhogan was born three years before me, and we grew up together. Rhogan always had mead when possible, and when he was offered the opportunity to enter a school of wizardry, he turned it down, telling them he instead wanted to go to a private weapons school with his young band of youthful men.
Garrett: Is that the same band as he has today? The ones waiting outside?
Sajlem: Yes. Continuing on, he graduated the school with a larger band than before and with the best reputation. Known for jumping onto grown men and bashing their skulls in, he was called “Smashy Rhogan” for a while.  He got bored of just protecting one village and moved on to wander with his band. He eventually came upon the Castle Of Pomparley, where he and his band have lived ever since.
Garrett: And what about you, Sajlem?
Sajlem: I went to the school of wizardry, then reunited with my brother when i heard he lost his tongue.
Garrett: Wow. That was… short. Moving along, let’s talk about regrets. You first, Rhogan.
[Rhogan converses in sign with Sajlem]
Sajlem: Rhogan regrets losing that bet. He thought he could beat a pack of skeletons, but he lost a tongue, a to-
[Rhogan interrupts Sajlem with a grunt]
Sajlem: But he won the bet!
Garrett: and what about you, Sajlem?
Sajlem: I wish i had bought that library twelve years back.
Garrett: Well, that’s it for this segment. See you later, guys.
[Rhogan and Sajlem leave]
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[Reed and Stool (A halfling and myconid, the latter being Stool) enter and sit down, Stool struggles to get into the seat]
Garrett: May I introduce the greatest duo ever, Reed and Stool!
[Stool puffs rapport spores]
Garrett: So, Stool, what’s it like being a mushroom?
Stool: Short.
Reed: He doesn’t talk much.
Garrett: Perfect for an interview. Care for some tea?
Reed: Sure. 
[Garrett walks over to the stove and sets the pot to boil, then comes back]
Garrett: So, why don’t you tell us about how you two met?
Reed: Well, stool was grown into captivity by the evil dark elves, so he doesn’t have much of a backstory. I, however, was was just walking down the street like I always do, visiting elders and meeting with friends, when I see this big thing walking around in the Death Grove,[A group of trees in Pottsam said to be haunted] so I walk in all cool-like, asking its name and how it’s doing. I thought it was a cow, but cows don’t have hooked claws.  It knocked me unconscious and brought me to the underdark, where dark elves enslaved me for a while. It really wasn’t fun. Then I found Stool, rescued him, and brought him up to the material plane in a daring escape.
Stool: The cart was fun.
Reed: We don’t talk about the cart, Stool.
Garrett: What’s the cart?
Reed: We uh…
Garrett: What was the cart?
Reed: We ran over a bunch of drow with a svirfneblin minecart.
Garrett: That’s nice. Do you regret it?
Stool: I don’t
Reed: Don’t listen to him.
Garrett: I can’t, Reed. He’s talking through rapport spores.
Reed: Right….
Garrett: Well, I guess that’s it.
Reed: Farewell, nice seeing you again.
Stool: See you lat-
[Rapport spores wear off and all leave]

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