Jul 29

F*ck This, Jeez

(This is a poem I wrote about a toxic person that I no longer have in my life, enjoy)
 
His eyes were razors that slashed through my skin whenever they landed on me.
Even the thought of his gaze was enough to cut me into pieces.
And I loved it.
The pain he caused me was enough to make me feel alive
So I allowed him to hurt me,
Constantly, over and over.
He was in my head,
my heart,
I felt him course through my veins.
And he's still there.
By that I do not mean the memories we shared,
Oh no no,
The feeling of his arms slithering around my waist so he could kiss me has been burned into my body and mind.
I will constantly be reminded of him whenever the smell of cigarrettes and cinnamon contaminate my nostrils.
And I will never forget the real reason I started failing French last semester.
The words Je t'aime Rebekkah will not get out of my fucking head because I know now that he didn't mean one goddamn word of it.
I hate it.
I hate how much I let him see the me without a mask,
And how vulnerable I can truly be.