Kind and generous
The best girl for me
An absolutely perfect girl
Yet I threw it away
Her sadness is suffocating
Her words landed on my heart
Her tears landed on my shoulder
Burning like acid through my skin
The guilt is wrapping me in a vice grip
Tightening till I can't breathe
I can't control who I love
So why am I being punished?
I'm drowning in her blues
Each of her cries sinking me deeper
And as I look up, I see the blue sky fading from view
But I know that soon, I'll be with you
I've recently found myself back in my shell
Pretending to be someone I'm not
And I think I know why.
I've pulled back from people
Only interacting with animals and strangers online
I'm opening my phone
To nothing
No messages, no emails, no missed calls,
All I'm getting is radio silence
The sinking feeling in my heart returned
The one where you know something is wrong
Stinging my eyes
The tears come
Pouring down
Relentlessly.
Still breathing
Still warm
Yet dead
To me
And me alone.
Grief floods me
Again
I'm drowning
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