what will I do?
can I take care of it?
can I love it? 
can I feed it?
why did I let this happen?
was it his fault?
was is mine?
nevertheless,
I am still worried. 
I don't want to admit it.
I want to get rid of it.
I don't want to be judged.
I don't want to be hated.
I just want to be loved.
I just want to be accepted.
but now the weight
of this baby
inside of me
is weighing me down.
and I don't know why.
an abortion isn't bad.
is it?
no.
it isn't
but I know
that some people are bad.
the people that try to shape me.
to make me into an object.
to model me like I'm clay.
to touch me without my permission.
and to bare me with such a heavy responsibility
the responsibility of a child.