henniebear@kua

i always feel pressured into

being grateful for the biggest things i can

which to me always sounds like i'm shouting for forgiveness

instead of gratitude. i never get to say i'm grateful

The days I wake up

and fall asleep

and move through the world

tired and clumsy,

it is hard to know the truths

of what I am grateful for.

Those days,

I am grateful not for winter,

there are all the things I could do with three minutes alone in my room

I have an essay to write and Hebrew to study

I have things to look up and notifications to check

on november first we said

ohgodit'snovemberalreadywheredidallthetimego taking

up all the time in the world with our breath.

on november fifth we said

ohgodpleaseprotectushavemercyonoursins praying