Planning
Every day
Every chance that is given
Scheduling
Organizing RSVPs
Bugging people to respond.
Talking to the caterer -
We can have bourekas after all -
And studying
Writing the speech
Studying more
And more
And more.
Trying to revive the wilted playlist
Making lists on docs of supplies
Of the food we want
On
And on
And on
Nonstop planning
For something that I never wanted.
Underwater
it's nearly silent
incredibly quiet
all sharp sounds softened by the waves.
Underwater
all of the loud, nagging noises of life fades into a faint murmur
bearable for once.
Underwater
Ad astra
Latin for to the stars
something that we've never done yet
but we've gone near.
We've never gone to the stars
we've reached the not-quite-emptiness that surrounds them.
I don't know what this is
whether it's summer really sinking in
or if it's something else
something more
something worse.
I don't want to turn into this
a puddle of negative feelings and boredom.
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