Planning
Every day
Every chance that is given
Scheduling
Organizing RSVPs
Bugging people to respond.
Talking to the caterer -
We can have bourekas after all -
And studying
Writing the speech
Studying more
And more
And more.
Trying to revive the wilted playlist
Making lists on docs of supplies
Of the food we want
On
And on
And on
Nonstop planning
For something that I never wanted.
it was bound to happen eventually
the death of a best friend
but now
now is a bad time
on hannukkah
what kind of a miracle is that?
now im miserable
It's December already
I've been alive for over thirteen years
over thirteen years of learning and growing
making mistakes and accomplishing feats
of finding myself and uncovering layers in not only myself
Your new-ish house
your dog sleeping on the rug
my family and your family chatting comfortably
your kitchen with your hot chocolate
the fun spinny stools at the kitchen island
that's one of my happy places
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