Wanting

I want to love.

Do you know that?

Do you all know that?

I want to love.

I want to scream it to the universe.

I want to live

I want to laugh

I want to cry I want to fight I want to be happy and angry

I want to live and I want to love,

I want to love!

So why can't I?

Why 

Do I shut down

Shut out

Why

Can't I let you in

For the life of me

Even if I want to because

I overthink it

I panic 

I withdraw

And I want to be fearless and brave because I know, I know I should be

And I know, I know you want me

But until I see why

And stop seeing all the ways you could be doing better

Until I am able to be that girl

To be that girl for you

I can't.

I cannot.

It hurts so bad.

I want to love.

I want to love.

Why is it so hard?

QueenBee

VT

13 years old

More by QueenBee

  • Life

    "Life isn't about finding yourself.

    Life is about creating yourself."

    Said the big chalkboard on the wall

    In that gym lined with red mats

    And chairs and chairs and chairs

    I'll never forget

  • Busywork

    I feel useless

    Unproductive

    No one needs me right now

    Good

    I have nothing to do

    B o r e d o m.

    I can't stop thinking about you

    I assign myself tasks

    Keeping me occupied

  • It all comes back

    When I got home

    After those two days

    Passed by much too fast

    And then they were gone

    And I was changed forever

    When I got home

    I remember

    I cried and cried and cried

    From longing