I want to cry

I want to cry.

I want to cry

But I cannot.

Graduation

Graduation

They're leaving

It's finally happening and how will I survive

What if this what if that

Stress

Schoolwork

Assignments

Pressure

Drama

And the good things too

Friendship

Romance

Fun

Laughter.

Piling on top of me.

I want to cry

But I cannot

Because it feels better not to.

I tried writing it out.

It turned to anger.

I tried sitting there

Thinking it through.

It shifted to

Helplessness.

I picked up

My partner in crime

My life

My love

My instrument

I played

I played like my heart was breaking

I played like I was breaking

I played softly and loudly

I crescendoed to a ridiculous point

I articulated the mess out of it -

Music

Doesn't take all my worries away

But it is a freedom.

My mind can fixate on all the little things,

The how can I play this better?

So I don't have to be so

Completely overworked

Overwhelmed

Everything

All the time.

I played

My heart out

I played

The pain out

Until I was left back with

Myself.

QueenBee

VT

13 years old

More by QueenBee

  • Life

    "Life isn't about finding yourself.

    Life is about creating yourself."

    Said the big chalkboard on the wall

    In that gym lined with red mats

    And chairs and chairs and chairs

    I'll never forget

  • Busywork

    I feel useless

    Unproductive

    No one needs me right now

    Good

    I have nothing to do

    B o r e d o m.

    I can't stop thinking about you

    I assign myself tasks

    Keeping me occupied

  • It all comes back

    When I got home

    After those two days

    Passed by much too fast

    And then they were gone

    And I was changed forever

    When I got home

    I remember

    I cried and cried and cried

    From longing