Mixed Feelings

I am sad

sad to not have weekly meetings with you

I am nervous

nervous of what I'll be doing this weekend

I am excited

excited to show off, to show my friends and family this tradition

I am apprehensive

apprehensive of the likely chance of a food fight or argument

and in the midst of all of this

I am confused

confused of how many emotions one can experience at the same time

how there are not enough words

not enough synonyms

for what I'm feeling

for what is running around my head

for what is lying on my desk

for what is behind a curtain

20 minutes from here.

I can't believe that this is actually happening

I can't believe that I'm going to be doing all of this

it's disbelief that is most filling me right now.

That I've gotten this far

that I've accomplished this much

that such new, shiny experiences

are waiting for me.

There are just not enough words

for all of my mixed feelings.