Mixed Feelings

I am sad

sad to not have weekly meetings with you

I am nervous

nervous of what I'll be doing this weekend

I am excited

excited to show off, to show my friends and family this tradition

I am apprehensive

apprehensive of the likely chance of a food fight or argument

and in the midst of all of this

I am confused

confused of how many emotions one can experience at the same time

how there are not enough words

not enough synonyms

for what I'm feeling

for what is running around my head

for what is lying on my desk

for what is behind a curtain

20 minutes from here.

I can't believe that this is actually happening

I can't believe that I'm going to be doing all of this

it's disbelief that is most filling me right now.

That I've gotten this far

that I've accomplished this much

that such new, shiny experiences

are waiting for me.

There are just not enough words

for all of my mixed feelings.

Calico Frost

VT

13 years old

More by Calico Frost

  • You Two

    Looking at you two

    as you "dance" on the "dance floor"

    which is really just an empty spot on the ground

    as you hold hands awkwardly

    though enjoying it

    as you experience feelings that I've never experienced before.

  • Separation

    It's always the goodbyes that are hardest

    especially when you've gotten so close

    after years of distance

    it's worst when you don't end up getting to spend the time you wanted to spend with them

  • Endless

    Card

    after card

    after card

    it keeps going

    the stack endless

    the family tree sprawling

    stretching

    growing

    by the second.

    I have to write it all down