Fainting Goat

You hope for my demise,
but I refuse to fall.

You push me,
but I refuse to stay down.

You want to see me broken,
but I refuse to give you the satisfaction.

Thank you for the warmth of the sun against my skin in summer.

Thank you for the leaves that fall in autumn.

Thank you for the fluffy snow that covers the ground in winter.

Thank you for the flowers that bloom in spring.

Did you ever know how much your pain hurt me?

That it haunted my sleep?

That I tried to feel it?

That I cared even then?

I went to the LGBTQ+ youth center for the first time.

For a year 

I stared at the website, 

wanting nothing more than to go.

When I finally went, on a Wednesday,

I promised you I would always stay,

swore on a bond I thought would never break.

Then came a time everything conflict

but I meant every word, every bit of it.