Posts
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thanksgiving break
we try to sleep in over break
because there's nothing left to do until December anyways
and it won't really work because dawn always opens my blinds
and their cat gets the zoomies at 6 but
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when i am asked what i am grateful for
i always feel pressured into
being grateful for the biggest things i can
which to me always sounds like i'm shouting for forgiveness
instead of gratitude. i never get to say i'm grateful
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8:46
there are all the things I could do with three minutes alone in my room
I have an essay to write and Hebrew to study
I have things to look up and notifications to check
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oh god how is november almost over
on november first we said
ohgodit'snovemberalreadywheredidallthetimego taking
up all the time in the world with our breath.
on november fifth we said
ohgodpleaseprotectushavemercyonoursins praying
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November 6th
This morning I woke up at six am. The country was bleeding pomegranate red and I, so sure we'd be drinking in a giddy paradise blue, stared blankly for minutes if not hours at the flashing computer screen.
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the definition of election day:
sitting in bed close to 7 am waiting for the election tracker to light up.
sitting in bed close to 8 am doomscrolling through election websites knowing it's all futile now.
Loves
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Teenagers
We lie in bed with our arms around ourselves,
cradling the mangled bodies of children
who had the stars squeezed out of their eyes so that, still shining, they fell
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pink
the day he was new was the day i made a new friend.
he was my height, my age, and had pretty eyes. he was nice and sat next to me. his name was Pierce. like his piercing eyes, or piercing smile.
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And the Message Said
I got a very old text message today.
I remember when it was sent many yesterdays past.
It dropped down from the top of my screen in a little box,
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Thermometers and Laughter and Showing Up
The days I wake up
and fall asleep
and move through the world
tired and clumsy,
it is hard to know the truths
of what I am grateful for.
Those days,
I am grateful not for winter,
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After the fifth day of November
note: partially inspired by Mary Oliver's "Wild Geese"
and for my mom
i want you to sit and stare at the glistening horizon.
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Mundane
a lesbian couple on my bus home from school
a man in a punk battle jacket on the street
my mother's female CEO group chat blowing up
four of my teachers taking the following day off