Alana Conway

I sit down in the perfectly lined rows of old desks.

squeak, squeak, squeak.

He hands out the test, dragging his feet.

shuffle, shuffle, shuffle.

Metalic covered by grease.

Grease covered by mint.

Mint covered by ice.

Ice covered by..

    ice covered..

ice covered by emptiness.

emptiness covered by growling.

growling covered by…

Life never stops.

It is a carousel that never stops spinning.

A vinyl that never stops playing.

A clock that keeps ticking.

It may slow down, it may speed up,

but it never stops. 

I hate you.

the way you speak,

the way you smell,

the way your eyes look at me 

with the intense love we share 

for each other.

I hate you.

the way you walk,

You didn’t notice

you didn’t notice when I stopped brushing my hair,

when I got two hours of sleep,

when I only wore long sleeves.

But you did notice when I stopped talking to you,

Just breathe, that’s what I’m told
In and out
You’re feeling anxious? Just breathe.
You can’t sleep? Just breathe. 
As I breathe in and out, and in and out 
I think about the time when I didn’t want to breathe