Inkpaw

pain 
I can't touch with fingers 
wounds
I can't bandage with gauze
thoughts 
that pick apart my stitches 
and pour salt water on all my cuts
words 
meant to help me
that slice through my heart

pain 
zapping through my skull
like a bolt of lighting 
on a sandy beach
creating a tiny fulgurite 
of a cuss
I hate headaches
or any internal pain
I can't touch it
because it's inside me

you said I was good at everything today
you listed things you've seen me excel at 
and you seemed to find this frustrating. 

little do you know
just how much 
I struggle
to reach out
to feel safe

my light fades
and time feels frozen 
as I steadily breathe in the frigid night air
and allow the snowflakes to settle softly 
on the shoulders of my old jacket 
I look up at the star speckled sky 

my heart beats to the rhythm of life
while my soul dances to the sweet sound of freedom 
by my own feeling I will be captive no more
from the shackles of expectation I will be released

fi I was a uhcakip 
i dluow eb os yppah