Siyona.S.stay

your birthday was halo-lit nights and cigarettes in sugar cakes—

melted icing smeared over the tips of flames snuffed out in the dark.

you asked for a songbird, said your lungs were burnt with apocalypse dust

Ask for help

They tell you,

But when you do,

They refuse to give it,

Be yourself

They chant,

But when you try,

You're told to hide away. 

Here's the key 

To surviving the bumblebee:

First,

Never put that left index finger down on the C

When you see a D right after - it will slow you down

And the goal is

As fast as you can go

Wishing I could,

stuck with I can’t

because of nerves

that refuse to say goodbye.

Heart is obsessed,

mind is stressed,

with my heart

yelling at my mind,

and my mind

You know what?

I needed this.

I needed someone to push me again.

Even though you don’t know I exist,

All your achievements

Whatever you do well

I will take note of

And attempt.

I guess I'm happy for you.

Actually, I really am.

At least, I'm expected to be.

Because, if you can't be proud 

of one of your best friends,

can you really be proud of

anyone?