Stuck in the constant cycle of being healthy and unhealthy

Eating nothing at all then eating too much, eating too much then nothing at all. 

Depressed then happy, happy then depressed. 

Open the door

Check

Under the bed

Or else

No, I’m too tired. I’m sure I will be fine if I don-

Or else.

Make sure

Every time 

I try to speak

My voice is trapped

Stuck between reality

And imagination

Between my mind 

And my throat 

Stuck in a loop

Unable to reach beyond

Wake 

up

Sink

down

Type

around

Stand

up

Sit

down

Look 

around

Sighs myself to sleep

Wake 

up

Sink

down

Type

He drinks to forget

That he is ashamed.

Ashamed of drinking

So he can forget.

It's endless,

The loop of love. 

I fall into it once,

And it feels like I'll never escape. 

It's like I'm tied to myself,

Suffocating in thousands of knots,

Tied by you. 

I have been stuck for so long

In this never-ending repeating life

Of school, work, sleep

Stress eating at midnight 

And stress crying in the afternoon

The question is

Will I be unstuck in time