Kids

Sectionals

is the equivalent of a curse word.

He warned us not to complain

I did anyway.

It's chaos

no one listens

nothing gets done

unproductive

I hate being useless.

But I don't have a choice

so I pack up and move out

taking chair and stand

a deep breath.

It started out

"Hi guys"

"Don't we need C and W?"

and "oh there you are".

Then

we played a bit

scales

complaining

groaning

yes, but it's necessary

I can't stand being undermined

and yet I was.

And I dealt with it.

They were playing random staccatos

it was relatively okay

we moved on to solos

everyone said not it.

I am many things

but I am not a chicken

I know where I am talented

here

I was born for this

there's no point in avoiding it

instrument to my mouth

playing notes

letting it fill the tiny room.

No one was really paying attention

but it was fine.

Next I rounded up other volunteers.

We worked.

A little.

Laughed.

A little.

Mostly I just looked around

and saw my peers

the kids I've grown up with

my band kids

my bandmates

we're silly

offtask

but we're fun too.

I was grateful it was less disastrous than I thought it would be

I do care

about them and the process

at least a little.

We're just kids

put in roles of responsibility

eighth graders.

We're

just

kids

and sometimes they make me want to laugh

sometimes they make me want to cry

yes I'm bossy

yes I get annoyed

yes I was frustrated

but we'll pull through

we always do.