Done

"Yeah I get it".

No you don't.

No, you don't!

Like fire

My temper

Everywhere.

I haven't been truly angry in a while

Not that I'll ever let you see.

Angry that he

The brick

The unemotional

Above us all

Stupid brick

Talks that way about his friend

Behind his back

Making fun

Poking fun

Making me mad but I hide it behind forced smiles

Telling me

I look depressed

Oh, you could say that made me mad

Of course it did

What's wrong with you people?

Why are you so messed up?

I don't like the way you talk to me

I can sense the lies building under your skin

You think you can hide that from me?

I'm sensitive but not like a crybaby.

Sensitive like I can feel when you mean it and I can feel when you don't.

"Yeah I get it."

You're not him

But the combination of the two of you

And his drama queen

Who's barely even his but wants so badly to be

The desperation

The makeup the hiding the concealer

You're concealing yourself why can't people just be?!

Caring so much

Ugh

You guys need to stop caring.

"Yeah I get it."

No you don't.

You don't get it.

You're clinging to the skeleton of a friend group because you don't know where else you fit, and you know,

You know I get it,

I get it,

I get everything! 

I was there too!

I know what that feels like!

But I'm so tired and you're all making it worse

Won't you all just

Go away

I don't need to be grabbed

Told I'm important

I want to hate you all for that

I'm not dumb enough to say I hate my friends

I might

Some aspects of them

I'll find a way out because I'm so done

I'm leaving

I'm leaving this friend group because I don't like it

And I don't care what you think

I fit in the waves and the pounding of my strokes through icy water

I fit in the notes dancing and diving and weaving around my heart

I fit in physical exertion and laughing and crying

With my Musketeers

And lying on the floor together with the fan on in the summer

And giving Voldemort chalk makeovers

And sleepovers in the loft above the garage

And playing in the field with myself and my imagination

Before everyone came and screwed it and I was happy

I'm not happy anymore!

Find a new sun of your solar system!

"Yeah I get it."

Flat. Emotionless. Like you couldn't care less.

Wow.

I try to care and I try to sound like it.

Not everything is about your stupid preppy petty problems!

The world doesn't revolve around that!

"Yeah I get it."

You don't.

You never will.

I'm out.

QueenBee

VT

13 years old

More by QueenBee

  • Glimpses

    Noise

    Warming up

    Keys

    Fingerings

    Chatter

    Laughter

    The chorale

    Stopping

    Starting

    "Again"

    "I know you can do better than that"

    Serious but

    You also love it

  • Cornered

    Cornered

    I put my hands up

    Like you taught me

    Only now

    You're the one attacking

    "Helping" because

    You "just want me to feel better"

    And I braced for impact

  • Distracted and angry

    I'm distracted.

    Why did I let myself become so reliant

    Dependent

    So stupid

    Ugh I'm so mad.

    So mad.

    I let myself become distracted by silly things I could want

    I let myself want them