Emojis

I scroll through the options

Endless rows

And rows

And rows

Of smileys

And animals

And faces

And people

And things.

I scroll through the multicolored hearts

The laughing faces

The crying faces

The silly faces

The angry faces.

I'm trying to find the perfect response to that email

Because I'm too tired to think up a witty reply

But none of these yellow circular faces capture my feelings.

They all seem so simple.

Could life really be that easy?

Just happy? Just sad? Just angry? Just silly?

Why is there no in-between?

Then again, I doubt any one face could represent everything I have in my heart right now.

My friends, who love me

But are so frustrating sometimes.

Everyone trying to outshine each other.

I look back at pictures from when I was younger and wonder what happened.

I don't recognize myself.

I see the girl in the pictures and wonder

If a single emoji

Could represent her life.

Could it show her what's in her heart?

Does it work for her?

Why do I feel so separate from my past self?

I hit the upside-down smiley emoji and send it.

No emoji could capture this.