November 6th, 2024 

Today my grief is loud 

She is shaky and terrified 

I hold her gently in my arms 

At school we draw in the margins of our notebook paper

and toy with the idea of moving to Australia. 

We look up the latest news in between classes, knowing that

the teachers will think we're addicted to our phones.

on november first we said

ohgodit'snovemberalreadywheredidallthetimego taking

up all the time in the world with our breath.

on november fifth we said

ohgodpleaseprotectushavemercyonoursins praying

This country is empty 
It is long gone 
For the days of adventure 
And truth 
Lie written in our history books 
Soon to be burned and forgotten

note: partially inspired by Mary Oliver's "Wild Geese" 

        and  for my mom 

i want you to sit and stare at the glistening horizon. 

I scroll through the options

Endless rows

And rows

And rows

Of smileys

And animals

And faces

And people

And things.

I scroll through the multicolored hearts

The laughing faces

I hear about all the things he does,

But what can I do?

Signs,

Bumper stickers,

Voices,

Celebrate the end.

For democracy, 

Our country, 

Ukraine, 

the LGBTQIA2+ community,

192o days

Until the next election

Each day a struggle

1920 days of living

In this place

How many laws and bills can be made

In this place

How many people can get hurt

How many people will cry

What do I do,

as a black woman,

when they get control?

when the consequences

don't matter anymore?

when I watch my people

get bullied,

get beat,

get murdered,

a lesbian couple on my bus home from school

a man in a punk battle jacket on the street

my mother's female CEO group chat blowing up

four of my teachers taking the following day off

Repair the world,

pull off the patterned papers.

Leave the walls all bare and empty,

no toll, free entry.

Welcome to the end zone,

I'm scared.

I can't believe we're here

Again.

I can't believe this is reality

Again.

Four years

They say.

It's only four years.

But it's four years

Of a living hell for me.

They laugh