Humor

When I was young, my grandmother told me to not stick my hand out the window while she was driving. When I asked why, she would say that my arm would fly off and I’d never get it back.

Hello my fellow penguins,

Today we gather here because I have been elected squakedent. For all you humans here, you would call me your president. Even though I am not yet officially squakedent yet, we must go over some rules. 

If you’ve never dinned with a fairy then consider yourself lucky. They take hours to decide what they want and then they get their meals, decide they don’t like it, and then they have to order something else. It’s horrid.

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Hmm... I wonder if it was intentional /:|

A stunted, scraggly tree sat amongst a few crumpled beer cans and soggy fast food wrappers in a small patch of greying and equally scraggly grass by the side of a highway somewhere in New England.

Hearing footsteps approching the couch, Ember looked up from her laptop. Her sister April stood beside their ring-stained coffee table.

First, think of the coler of the clowds. Necst, think of the coler of sno. Now, think of the coler of a bright full moon. Now anser kwikly wut do cows drink?

Anser: Milk

A while ago, a month I think, my car broke down. I was on a freeway, and I was just barely able to pull onto the side. I got out, and waited for a car to stop.

Oh, noble Justice Barrett,
How very brave of you
To close those same doors
Opened to you 
By the woman you now replace.

It started out fun but after about ten mintues I was ready break through the golden corn maze.