Poetry

darling i think the prettiest thing of it is that i

have been dreaming about this moment since i was little,

pressing my mouth to the back of my hand to see what it felt like to be touched like that,

Every time I see

An empty chair,

I wonder whose ghost

Is sitting there.

They called me twisted,

Said that something was wrong with me.

Is there?

Is there really something wrong with the things I wish to voice?

I wrote things down. 

(Sometimes)

Life just seems much too hard

(Sometimes)

I don't want to go on

(Sometimes)

I feel like it's impossible-

Immovable walls surround me

(Sometimes)

I don't understand other folks-

Last night,

I dreamed of the clouds.

They looked so magical, all up so high.

Suddenly I was there,

with them.

It was cold- freezing, even.

And the water from the clouds on myself was freezing.

My hands dance across the keyboard,

Letters connecting to one another.

Each word makes my heart ache with the yearning for something,

Somewhere in a far off future, I am

                dancing

Inside I am falling apart

Like rain clouds, I hold it in till I burst...

Tears running down my face like a rainstorm

Wanting to scream as loud as the thunder, because maybe, just maybe, someone will hear my cries...

When I look at mirrors, they don't break, but they bend and warp and fold in on themselves.

I'll forget

(the exact words,

too many to remember)

(I wish I wouldn't,

I want to have you with me

always)

what you said.

I'll forget

(if we shared lunch

or went downtown

The shots rang out

And I fell with a thud

I was dead,

For I could see myself covered in mud

I felt an urge to float, away and away

I miss you more than 
I loved you. Still, I love you
 –less than I feared you.