Poetry

i still search for you in the places i go

hoping to see you; a familiar face once again.

today i walked through the halls expecting to meet you, where you forever stood— but the man i saw wasn’t you;

What are we made of?

Flesh. Bones. Nerves. Muscle.

We are a cacophony of carrion all bundled together, 

Seen as holy,

Seen as beautiful.

The words.

The comments.

The stares...

It all reminds me that no one cares. 

Can't you see?

I'm not okay.

Because my thoughts remind me that I am not pleased with myself.

I've never understood the phrase

hopelessly in love.

It's in all the books,

it's on TV.

Characters meet their special someone and bam

they're free falling

but they have their safety nets

Under a grey sky a chin bows low

Weary to the sacrifice of time,

He does not note how the sun begins to show

This world has disallowed him of his fundamental right,

her name began with a d and her hair curled in gold ringlets like coins

and her laugh was infectious and her smile was too

and her eyes sparkled when they caught the light. she walked

What is this

you know what this is

it scares me

it's real

I don't like this

don't deny it

I don't know what to do about it

it's not the end of the world

at dusk

sun setting on an april day in paris 

I messaged you 

as if I was sending letters

by carrier pigeon 

to an enemy fort 

hidden in the alps 

     I am having a dream about the senior class graduating.

     It is a beautiful day

     And I am watching from a hill

     Sobbing as the hats fly off

I hate that I am only loved when you feel like it,

like I'm lovable but only when there is nothing better,

you miss me but you just miss having me as an option,

you wish I was there but only when nobody else is free. 

you make me feel like

it's okay

everything is fine

when i'm freaking out

when i'm nervous or scared or feel like i did horribly

you're always there.

you try to call even if you're too busy to

Wordless.

Stage lights sparkling on my skin

descending down steps for performers

for the people before me

people who take great joy in what we do.

A day of rehearsal

listening