Poetry

It was the time of year

when it was summer

but it wasn't miserably hot

wasn't disgustingly humid

it was the perfect in-between

the Goldilocks zone of summer.

It was a double camping trip

my family

I have been told

To put curl cream in my hair

Upside down, eyes 

Straining against the ceiling light,

Curls straining toward the tile floor,

Bunching.

I will smell

Some days I look through my folder

Flip through my books

Scroll through PDFs

And I just don't want to

Just don't feel like it

Just not in the mood

And suddenly I am terrified

Terrified

Sometimes I think

Of what my life would be without this

Without the conductor who changed my life

Without my duet partner who taught me how to perform

Without my instrument

Without the music

It’s a tired time we’re living in,

A tired time indeed.

We’re on the verge of giving in 

To gluttony and greed.

And we say that we are fighting,

Yet we haven’t changed a thing.

I should be being

A teenager

Walking around

Biking the village with friends

Creemees

Candy

Joking

Laughing

Teasing

Farmers markets

Confessions

Crushes

Running around

Summer nights

Taste of sweet smoke

Laughter and kindness

The generosity of strangers

The hopes of tomorrow

And the struggles of a past day

Fall days

Feel the heat on your back

We 

     Contain multitudes,

     Infinite differences

     And variations; it is

All the little things

Add up

Matter

A lot to me

Everything

We met you

For the first time in years

You

All three of you

Are in college

Have lives

Away from us

My tears taste of memories,

slipping from my eyes,

replaying on my cheeks,

leaving a trail of our past on my lips,

tasting of the bitter-sweet moments of us,

and finally, 

silently, 

I don't think you're a waste of space,

I'll give you my room and my pillow

As long as you make the bed afterwards,

And close the windows to keep the rain out. 

I don't think your not enough,

they’ve seen me in passing

without even realising

that hope is what makes me

able to stand underneath the californian sun

hope lets me feel

the ground beneath our feet

the breeze against my cheek