RIP to me

All I can do is sit

and watch

and wait

as they purchase me

as I am loaded into the back of a car

as I am unloaded from the car

as I am brought into their house

as I am placed on a table covered in newspaper

as I await my doom

watching them sharpen knives and unpack carving tools that they use once a year

waiting patiently as they gather around me

sitting still as they wield their sharp, shiny tools

made to carve into my kind

and make what they want of us.

I never flinch

I can't show my pain

if I show weakness, they target that

they cut out what they don't like about me

moldy spots, sometimes my stem

but most times

they try -

and fail -

to create unnatural beauty where it doesn't belong.

Imagine if someone chopped off your scalp

removed your brain from your skull

and proceeded to slice through your skin as if it wasn't murder?

How would you feel

if your body

formerly full and complete

was hollowed out,

sliced through,

and placed on someone's porch

with a tealight where your brain used to be?

Even still

I can never show pain

never show weakness

even as I rot

even as wild animals feast on my carcass

even as I am thrown into the compost

a life wasted for the eyes to briefly feast upon.

I wouldn't mind if someone ate me

because that wouldn't be a waste of a precious life

that would feed someone

satisfy what they actually need.

So now

as I sit in the compost pile

rotting

attracting fruit flies

mourning my beautiful body

I don't flinch

I welcome the prospect of death.

RIP to me.