The Adventures of Man-Man and his companion, Compan-Man

I
The Return of Man-Man

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a Tesla truck, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Look! Up in that tree. It’s a Siamese cat. It’s a monkey. It’s Man-Man!

Man-Man jumped down from the tree and landed in front of the crowd of people crowded around the tree, trying to figure out what was going on with the dude in the tree.

“What seems to be the problem, citizens?” Man-Man said. His response came in the form of puzzled stares from the crowd until one lady asked: “Who are you?”

“Why, I am your friendly neighborhood Man-Man.” More puzzled stares. 

“Please, citizens, what are your problems? I can fix them in a jiffy if you like.”

One curious kid stepped up and said: “I don’t have any money.” Man-Man pulled out his checkbook and started writing in it. 

“How much would you like? One hundred dollars?”

“Gee, that’d be swell!”

“And what is your name, young lad?”

“I’m Jeffrey. Jeffrey McGyver.” Man-Man continued writing. He tore out the check and handed it to Jeffrey.

“One hundred dollars! Thank you, mister!” 

Man-Man jumped into the tree he had been in earlier and leaped off into the sky. A few cops came over and asked the people who that man was.

“He says his name is Man-Man.” someone replied.

“Cripes,” one of the cops muttered, “he’s back.” Earlier that year, the police had gotten word of a robbery at a jewelry store. They came to the scene, only to find the three robbers tied up and some guy in spandex and gardening gloves eating a carrot. He had a burlap sack with all the jewelry in it. Apparently, Man-Man had overheard the robbers making plans, arrived to the store an hour before them, and took the jewelry before the robbers could get it. 

Later that night, Man-Man foiled three bank robberies, two muggings, and another jewel heist. He may have been a weirdo, but he got the job done. 


















II
Compan-Man 
    In a dark alleyway, there was a poisonous snake lying in wait for victims. It was a minion of Poison Oak, the most treacherous supervillain in all of New Gothatropolis. (Poison Oak was a normal man, until he fell into a patch of genetically modified poison oak, which made him get superpowers related to poison and trees.) Back to the snake. As the innocent family walked by, the snake lunged out and bit both parents. The child screamed in terror and kicked at the snake. It recoiled and slithered back into the alley. The child ran down the street, calling out for help.

    Far away, standing in a heroic pose, his hearing empowered by his magical carrot, Man-Man heard the desperate cry of a child. He took another bite of the carrot, enacted his flight superpower, and leaped into the sky, looking for the child.

Let me explain the carrot. Before Man-Man officially got into the superhero business, he hired a mad scientist to make his carrot give him a superpower (his choice) whenever he took a bite out of it. Getting back to the story, Man-Man flew across New Gothatropolis at blinding speeds until he found the crying kid, whom, he realized, was actually the kid he had given one hundred dollars to a week prior.

“What is the problem?” Man-Man asked.

“My parents got bitten by a snake!” Jeffrey McGyver cried out, pointing towards the dark alleyway. Man-Man flew off. He was too late. They were dead. Man-Man walked back with a sad look on his face.
*******
Ten years later, Man-Man decided that Jeffrey McGyver was old enough for training. Even though Man-Man took him into foster care, Man-Man had hidden that he was Man-Man. He had just told him that he was Phillip Smint, a secretary for a bank.

“Jeffrey, it’s time you knew.” Man-Man said.

“What?” The seventeen-year old Jeffery McGyver asked.

“ I... am Man-Man.”

“I know.” Man-Man was flabbergasted. He had done everything he could to hide his secret identity! He had even showered in it to prevent Jeffery from finding it!

“B-but how? How did you find out?” Man-Man asked.

“Well, first, a month ago, you left your suit in the washing machine you went out, and then last week, at the party, you got drunk and yelled that you were Man-Man in front of everybody.” 

“Very well. We will start training tonight,” Man-Man said. A look of terror spread across Jeffery’s face.

“Training?”

“Oh yes. We will start with common situations and how to deal with them.”





III
Poison Oak
    After one year of training, Compan-Man, aka Jeffery McGyver, was ready to fight poison oak. They went to his secret lair, where they immediately triggered a trap. Man-Man said, “My man-sense is tingling!” and jumped out of the way. Compan-Man was not as lucky, and he got knocked out and tied up against a post. He  waited for hours, until a light came on and he found himself in a warehouse , with Poison Oak standing above him. Compan-Man looked past him and saw Man-Man perched high up in the rafters.

    “Well, well. Look at what we ha-” He was cut off by Man-Man jumping down from the rafters, doing a backflip, and dragon-kicking him in the head. Man-Man held out his carrot to Compan-Man. Compan-Man took a bite out of it and snapped his bonds. He howled in rage, punched Poison Oak in the face and knocked him out. 

“Well, that was anticlimactic,” Man-Man said.

“Agreed,” Compan-Man replied.

The pair of superheroes walked out of Poison Oak’s warehouse with an unconscious Poison Oak in tow. New Gothatropolis had been saved again.