Sep 14

Still water--FICTION

I slip my shoes off and sit down, almost falling onto the old wooden dock. I couldn't control my self. I didn't know what to do. I needed to get out, I needed to be alone now. As I press my feet into the calm bath-like water I can immediately feel my emotions raging again. What am I going to do, who is going to watch my back not that he's gone? I can't keep running if I have nothing to run from, right? What will I do when I have to walk down that aisle but he won't be there every step of the way? I close my fist almost as a reflex. I want to run and hide and never come back to this stupid town ever again. I can't stay here. 

I take a deep breath and try to remember all the things that happened here. I can remember fishing with him for the first time when I was 4, I can remember jumping off into the dark and cold water when we snuck out while mom was making dinner one summer. I can remember all these good things so why does a bad thing have to happen. When he got sick I didn't know what was happening but now, he's gone. 

My own father can't walk me down the aisle or teach me any more useless lessons that I won't use for another 10 years, I don't have a father...