Poetry

Grades are tanking

hope is failing

I am a pile of busywork and small talk

a job I need to pay for my dream

a dream I've given up on

it's safer to give up than to pursue

pursuing hurts more than it's worth

"Dear Gretchen (ctrl c, ctrl v)

Thank you for applying to [college]. 

Why do you make me feel safe,

Just to turn your back?

Why do you act like you’re a friend,

Just to terrorize the rest?

I want to save you from your fears,

the jester wore a mask
bright reds blues and yellow
to remind those who were sad
of happiness and delight
he never stopped laughing
afraid if he did there would be no jester anymore
the jester and the princess

A thousand thoughts pounding into my head ALL THE TIME.

Whirring past at a million miles per hour.

Filling my head with noise.

The world makes it louder.

My friend said something today.

Struck me dumb. My only choice to laugh it off, make jokes.

Possibly be passive-aggressive... 

We were talking... I asked if she liked a Friends-to-lover's couple

The beginning of life anew.

After the blistering cold and before the blazing heat

The sunny days and chilly nights

The morning arrives like a door left open—but today, you notice the draft.

There’s a pain

From my brain

When I lie

And when I wake.

And there's no escape

From the terrifying pain.

Have you felt

I love the rain

The way it sounds

As it splashes the ground

And beats against my roof

Bringing new life

But 

On the first warm night of spring

I lie on my bed with my window open

The cool breeze skates over my skin

Leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake

I fear that I lied to you, straight to your face

When you looked me in the eyes and asked

If I was ok, how I was doing

And I lied, straight to your face