Poetry

The brick blockade stands tall,

My love is severed by this wall,

My heart broken into two—

The only remedy is a kiss from you.

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Wait.

What?

How did that go up?

Logically

How

do others see me?

Do they see a girl in gray cargo pants and light blue thermal quarter zip?

Do they see a friend who loves them despite her crankiness?

Do they see a quiet awkward girl who prefers books to people?

I used to spin golden thread

thin and pure as warm sunlight

lighter than feathers

worth more than gold

Now it's murky and brown

chunky and stringy as grassy mud

heavier than sorrow

Little do we know

everyone is next

I am next

glints in their eyes give away their fear

help us

Again?

I’ll say it again

I will say it a million times over

I will say it till you believe it

I will say it till you fall asleep

The first time the words touched my ears

I sobbed,

stricken on the ground.

The second time,

I cried 

and was inconsolable.

The third time

do I like myself?

no.

do I accept myself?

no.

do I appreciate myself?

no.

yet do I wish I was someone else?

no.

She says, I’m scared, 
and I don’t lie, 
I am too. 

Scared in the quiet, 
scared of how much 
this matters. 

Except for one moment: 
when I’m beside her. 

I almost said forever,
the way people do
when they want the moment to stop moving.

But I know I’m temporary
in ways you aren’t.

And loving you
has been the happiest
I’ve ever felt.

i wonder if that barren winter tree shivers in the wind

wishing on its last leaf for the revitalizing life of spring to come sooner.

i wonder if that isolated cloud feels the weight of the rain it carries

We are such remarkable beings;

In the hearts we have learned to draw

beat our brilliance through persistence

and the way how even when we feel

as if our lungs have been shattered,

what was left of our love blown