Fainting Goat

Every day at school is chaos.

The noise

The people 

All the people 

Sometimes I want to hide in a corner 

To get away.

To recenter myself.

So that I don’t break down.

I am unique 

I have hearing loss 

I feel as if it is harder for me to fit in 

I feel as if I am a puzzle piece that can’t fit 

I have this teacher...

This teacher is rude and sexist 

They get mad if you don't know the answer to something that they haven't explained yet...

They never get mad at certain students, they have favorites...

If i take a deep breath in 

Will i suffocate on the fight? 

On the trying 

The trying 

Ive been trying 

Desperate 

Ive been so desperate. Please understand. 

I don't want to be a survivor, I don't want to be brave 

I don't want to be stronger, I don't want to be saved 

I don't want to be tested to see if I'll do it right 

I didn’t get out of bed this morning for twenty minutes

Lying in the dark in hopeful ignorance

Then I see my mother in the hall and I’m six years old again —

She has bad news —