Posts
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Suffocation
I fell
The ground didn't catch me, though
and I'm still falling
suffocating in my own sadness and grief
in shared sadness and grief, actually
except that it hit you harder
because you were closer to her
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Missing
I didn't even realize how old she was
and she's not even my cat
and I didn't know her all that well
but I'm still crying
because she's not going to be there anymore
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Summer Cons
Everyone is so excited for summer
and I don't dislike them for it
but I don't understand why.
The heat is overwhelming
temperatures of 80, even 90 this year
and it's only barely June;
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Falling
I am falling down
further
and further
faster
and faster
the school year is almost over-
hooray, summer-
but all of a sudden
reality crashes down on me
as powerful as a tidal wave
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Cocoon of Solitude
Warm,
toasty,
happy in my
cocoon of solitude
where no one bothers me
while I read and snuggle by myself,
wrapped up in blankets
hidden in pillows
engulfed in stuffed animals.
Peace,
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Your friends
Some of us
will push and push to get closer
others
will nudge gently and give up
but I don't try to do either
I want to wait patiently until you let me in
closer
before you close up
Loves
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RIP to me
All I can do is sit
and watch
and wait
as they purchase me
as I am loaded into the back of a car
as I am unloaded from the car
as I am brought into their house
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Permanent
I hold onto anything that leaves a mark.
rings that coat my fingers in green
doodles in blue ink on my arm
I hope for my injuries to form scars
just to prove their existence.
scratching bug bites until they scab
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Pet store
I am such a horrible awful jerk
I refuse pets
I refuse animals
Because I refuse to get another
Because that feels like replacing her
And so I won't do it
But there are all these animals out there
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Fall
Fall is here and I fight nostalgia with every step
I am falling into the colored leaves like a child with crayons filled them in
The slightest cool breeze knocks me over
I love this time of year
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Secrets
A whisper in the wind...
A yell in the thunder...
But they will never tell my secrets...
Cry in my pillow...
Cry in the rain...
But they will never mock my tears...
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Don't Tell My Friends
Lying in my bed
Staring at the ceiling
Rethinking the day
Going over everything I said
Everything I did
But please
Don't tell my friends
About my excessive overthinking