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Nov 02
poem 9 comments challenge: I Wonder

Memories

I wonder if you still think of me,
or am I fading from your memory?

Do you ever recall that piece of time we shared?
or do you pretend it was never there?

Because I think of you often, too often in fact
my recollections of you are all still intact.

Am I wrong for wanting to know you once more?
I wish that you could tell me for sure...

But we are miles a part and here I lay,
trying to keep my thoughts of you at bay.
Posted: 11.02.16
About the Author: Adelle M. Brunstad
"The great (wo)man is (s)he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude." - R. W. Emerson
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Discussion

Comments

  1. Nov 04, 2016

    This is really good.I feel like I understand the feeling and the is true for me. I don't know if that made any sense? I guess all I'm saying is that I liked this piece and thought it was powerful

  1. Nov 05, 2016

    I understand what you're saying and thank you :)

    "The great (wo)man is (s)he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude." - R. W. Emerson

  1. Nov 04, 2016

    I love the rhyming of this piece and how relatable it can be to anyone. The rhetorical questions are so powerful too! The only thing is, and I'm not sure if it's intentional, but intact is one word.

    Charlotte

  1. Nov 05, 2016

    Thank you! And oh yeah, thank you for pointing that out!

    "The great (wo)man is (s)he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude." - R. W. Emerson

  1. Nov 06, 2016

    I like the use of couplets, and your use of rhymes. However, I want you to hold back some, i.e., please do not tell us everything let the reader imagine more.
    "I wonder, am I fading?
    Do you recall that...".

  1. Nov 07, 2016

    Thank you! but how would you suggest I make those phrases less personal? I had to refrain from adding more detail before so I'm not sure how to go about changing it now.

    "The great (wo)man is (s)he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude." - R. W. Emerson

  1. Nov 08, 2016

    Poems about love and hurt are difficult to write. I would try writing about an event, ( a sunset; a broken tree, or even an accident) that metaphorically communicates the feeling of loss.

  1. Dec 10, 2016

    I absolutely love this piece! The questions you ask are so relatable, and you portray that sense of emptiness so perfectly. The rhyming at the end is perfection

    Hannah

  1. Dec 10, 2016

    Yay thank you! Im SO thrilled you love and can relate to it!

    "The great (wo)man is (s)he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude." - R. W. Emerson