blueberry pancakes

the last time i ate

was this morning

blueberry pancakes

warm

the smell of cinnamon

wafting from them

i ate a bite

then stopped

i imagine

ten year old me

running to the table

eating five

not a care

if my stomached ached

afterwards

now

i can't

i don't know why

i push the plate away

staring at the crumbs

and the empty space

where joy used to live

i miss hunger

but it's not something i feel

anymore

i have bigger things to worry about.