Poetry

Every time I open my eyes I see a different world staring back at me. 

Sometimes it’s beautiful. 

Sometimes I hate it. 

Lately, I've seen more hate than love. 

it was bound to happen eventually

the death of a best friend

but now

now is a bad time

on hannukkah

what kind of a miracle is that?

now im miserable

“i hate you”

“leave me alone”

“i don't wanna see your face”

you hate the way i turn off your light when you focus

or continually walk by your room until you notice

I've always

been scared

of rejection

so I

don't do

anything

i hold

myself back

from things

others do

i've always 

been scared

of rejection

so how

There once was a lake 

In love with the moon, 

Astonished by her voice, 

In love with her melodious tune.

She would sing and shine.

It's December already

I've been alive for over thirteen years

over thirteen years of learning and growing

making mistakes and accomplishing feats

of finding myself and uncovering layers in not only myself

There are days and nights

When I still think of you

And I smile

Because even if you’re gone

I know you’re happy now

You never truly leave your hometown

You carry pieces of the past in your veins 

And you begin to reminisce when you bleed

In your darkest moments

You are the same child you were all those years ago

Before there was a bud preparing to breach what was not

Before one had to swim through the aether

Before the everlasting Eclipse shrouded all.

The flower brakes through demanding water and life

I'm sifting in the sand:

Ma said there’d be seashells.

All I have to do is simple,

that’s what I’m told.

Cute swimsuit…
 

check.

I thought you didn’t care.

You laughed the same with everyone,

spoke easily,

walked away like nothing stayed behind.

So I told myself

I was imagining it—

the way your eyes lingered

front lawns

frogs 

crochet projects

and tears

bring mind to your

fairytale girl

she laughs like a poet would (and does)

and moves my fingers

on the ukulele strings