Poetry

I'm distracted.

Why did I let myself become so reliant

Dependent

So stupid

Ugh I'm so mad.

So mad.

I let myself become distracted by silly things I could want

I let myself want them

when were you going to tell me

that we were never really friends?

and instead you pretended you liked me

so you could laugh at my tear-stricken face.

all those nights I opened up like you cared

The sinews from my strewn out muscles lay the skeleton of my blanket,

remind me of my strength, 

its fortitude when not forsaken. 

The Empress

lies upon the couch

sleeping

i pet her

she runs away

i cry

Beauty is

Not hiding being a thick mask

A thick layer that is not you.

Beauty is

Not wanting to be someone's doll

Someone's plaything

We are not here for decoration.

Beauty is knowing what you want

Don't force them; don't make fun of them.

Take them places where they feel loved and safe,

and watch them relax.

Don't grab them or get frustrated with them; have patience.

Wait for them to come to you.

No matter how strong love is, anger is always stronger; try to love anyway.

I'm nervous

And I'm scared.

Meeting new people -

Not my thing.

I can be outgoing

I can be anyone they want me to be

Anyone who will be liked

But me

I will thrive

When I’m upset,

I like to come out here,

This place I would like to weave,

Where I can sit on the rocks

With my feet in the water,

With the sun dancing across the ripples,

Where my heart can be the shore,

You know what?

You were right

this sucks

school is crap

there's no point in trying in fields where you're not welcome.

I can't back out of this mess

He attacks me suddenly 

Erupts like booming thunder

And all I do is wonder

If things will ever change 

Because I feel his heavy power

Quick hands 

Sharp teeth

Ready to devour 

On my sixteenth birthday.

I curled into a ball in the frayed, silk afterglow of childhood,