Poetry

what is it?

i've always found it

confusing

why

are we tied to

one person

only

why

is romantic love

more important

than friendship

why

do i push people away

yet long

the smell of snow 

sharp and bright 

like the world holding its breath  

just before it turns new 

Slow and drawn out

the aftermath of recovering from harsh conditions

yet still standing

the beauty of ancient strength and wisdom radiating from it

yet still full of surprises

still going

still growing

I found a ring I thought I’d lost

in the bottom of my bag.

I haven’t seen it since last spring —

It’s funny, isn’t it?

All these months,

I thought it gone,

all this time, I’ve just been

carrying it.

No more promises to go to bed earlier

No more making up meaning for the mess on the floor,

No more pages all across my desk.

No more of the big clothes to hide what I don't have. 

Should I continue this lie

that I am finding this world to be okay?

That I'm comfortable as I worry every time I 

show my shoulders because 

what if

this is the day that I'll remember with

I never thought I'd wonder

how it would feel to touch your face

but now the thought sticks to my skin, tangles

in my hair. I never thought 

your eyes would be anything but blue,

Mom

It's getting worse

I hate 

the way my tummy rolls when i sit in this chair and how i feel guilty when i eat a whole bag of peeler gummies and when i don't eat because i hate how i look in the mirror

Dad 

Some days

I feel like I take up

too much space—

like every word I say

echoes louder

than it should.

And other days

I feel so quiet

I’m afraid the world

will blink

There is a language 
spoken only in half-glances, 
in the weight of a pause 
just before someone smiles. 

I want to live,

I want to hear a million songs and dance in the rain,

I want to kiss and make love,

I want to see the world from every angle,

meet people that I will love and ones I won't,

I'm sorry,

I didn't do more for us,

that I didn't treat you like you were enough.

I'm sorry,

for not calling you more,

and didn't hold you when you needed it most.

I'm sorry,