Musings on a Lost Ring
I found a ring I thought I’d lost
in the bottom of my bag.
I haven’t seen it since last spring —
It’s funny, isn’t it?
All these months,
I thought it gone,
all this time, I’ve just been
carrying it.
I found a ring I thought I’d lost
in the bottom of my bag.
I haven’t seen it since last spring —
It’s funny, isn’t it?
All these months,
I thought it gone,
all this time, I’ve just been
carrying it.
No more promises to go to bed earlier
No more making up meaning for the mess on the floor,
No more pages all across my desk.
No more of the big clothes to hide what I don't have.
Should I continue this lie
that I am finding this world to be okay?
That I'm comfortable as I worry every time I
show my shoulders because
what if
this is the day that I'll remember with
I never thought I'd wonder
how it would feel to touch your face
but now the thought sticks to my skin, tangles
in my hair. I never thought
your eyes would be anything but blue,
Mom
It's getting worse
I hate
the way my tummy rolls when i sit in this chair and how i feel guilty when i eat a whole bag of peeler gummies and when i don't eat because i hate how i look in the mirror
Dad
Some days
I feel like I take up
too much space—
like every word I say
echoes louder
than it should.
And other days
I feel so quiet
I’m afraid the world
will blink
There is a language
spoken only in half-glances,
in the weight of a pause
just before someone smiles.
I want to live,
I want to hear a million songs and dance in the rain,
I want to kiss and make love,
I want to see the world from every angle,
meet people that I will love and ones I won't,
I'm sorry,
I didn't do more for us,
that I didn't treat you like you were enough.
I'm sorry,
for not calling you more,
and didn't hold you when you needed it most.
I'm sorry,
up high in the sky
where birds come to fly
two clouds that sit perfectly on time
with the air that comes rounding thinner
white fluff that twirls like sand
the world is orange
and i mean orange
like a sepia photo in which your grandparents
stand stiff & silent,
unsmiling, their clothes starched
for the occasion,
I am here to say this
in only facts
because I don't rely on feelings.
Fact:
Your Mr. Remarkable is quiet.
Cold.
Closed off.
Didn't interact unless
absolutely necessary
smiled maybe twice.