Writing

I have been told

To put curl cream in my hair

Upside down, eyes 

Straining against the ceiling light,

Curls straining toward the tile floor,

Bunching.

I will smell

Some days I look through my folder

Flip through my books

Scroll through PDFs

And I just don't want to

Just don't feel like it

Just not in the mood

And suddenly I am terrified

Terrified

Sometimes I think

Of what my life would be without this

Without the conductor who changed my life

Without my duet partner who taught me how to perform

Without my instrument

Without the music

It’s a tired time we’re living in,

A tired time indeed.

We’re on the verge of giving in 

To gluttony and greed.

And we say that we are fighting,

Yet we haven’t changed a thing.

I should be being

A teenager

Walking around

Biking the village with friends

Creemees

Candy

Joking

Laughing

Teasing

Farmers markets

Confessions

Crushes

Running around

Summer nights

Taste of sweet smoke

Laughter and kindness

The generosity of strangers

The hopes of tomorrow

And the struggles of a past day

Fall days

Feel the heat on your back