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Wait.

What?

How did that go up?

Logically

How

do others see me?

Do they see a girl in gray cargo pants and light blue thermal quarter zip?

Do they see a friend who loves them despite her crankiness?

Do they see a quiet awkward girl who prefers books to people?

I used to spin golden thread

thin and pure as warm sunlight

lighter than feathers

worth more than gold

Now it's murky and brown

chunky and stringy as grassy mud

heavier than sorrow

Little do we know

everyone is next

I am next

glints in their eyes give away their fear

help us

Again?

I’ll say it again

I will say it a million times over

I will say it till you believe it

I will say it till you fall asleep

The first time the words touched my ears

I sobbed,

stricken on the ground.

The second time,

I cried 

and was inconsolable.

The third time