Writing

bite your tongue and swallow 

count to ten, divisible by 2 on a good day and 5 on a bad day

9 chews too loud

8 rubs on each finger, 8 thumb to thumb and then every other finger. always an even number

I don't want to 

I shouldn't need to 

I don't have to

I really shouldn't.

Numbers upon numbers upon numbers that insist

upon eachother. Adding up quickly and carrying mental 

fresh out of the plane,

weary eyed and sickly pale, 

I trudge.

deep within my suitcase, I carry a passport I don't want to show to anyone, 

even if they ask for ID. 

people sleep 

in beds

in graves 

laid down by death's sweet glave 

and when the songbird spreads its wings 

some will wake when morning sings 

but others still will slumber on 

a gust of cold wind 

leaves burnished by the new fall

time to bake cookies  

I'm sorry for screaming so loud,

Except really I am not,

Because how am I supposed to stay quiet, 

When this fire still burns hot.