May 26

Random thoughts

These are just thoughts that have flowed in and out of my head for the past few days.

I want to feel alive.
But at the same time, I'm terrified of living.
It's like I'm split in half.
And each side is just pulling, 
Trying desperately to get me to commit to it fully.
I can't.
I want to be this great best selling author,
Yet there is this voice in my head,
telling me,
You're never going to make it.
Especially when it comes to money.

Just give up.
Quit already.
You aren't even good.
And some days I believe it,
Some days I don't.
I just think I'm going to have to deal with it,
Until I make it.