Have you ever thought of what life means? Why we’re subjected to this earth, all of us individually unique creatures smushed together with the only purpose being known as reproduction. Biologically we recreate to keep humanity alive, but what’s the philosophy behind it? For years, psychologists have studied the human brain, sociologists study communities and countries to compare to one another, yet there’s no clear answer, no specific right or wrong. I've come to the understanding that this idea alone is life. You’re a clueless baby out of the womb, given to two humans who are tasked with not only keeping you alive but teaching you what is believed to be important knowledge. 

If 18 wasn't such a silly number,
if I had savored years before,
now that bounds have broken,
I'm left with the regret of hindsight.
No more walking through the halls.
No more soft and fumbled numbers.
I stand with two feet rigid,
as if the chair was pulled beneath me.
I trained restlessly for this moment,
happy smile, strong mind.
I didn't realize how hard the blow would come,
the knowledge of those sandcastles,
built years ago, and now melted back into sand.
My mind is hardened.
I'm not sure exactly what to feel,
if not lost, then confused,
if not broken, then disarranged.
To what end did this take me?
One that doesn't feel true, but yet,
throws me further away from safety.
 

When I think of winter, three things come to mind: Snow, cold, and how infinitely superior to every other season it is. In the following few paragraphs, I will be providing a comprehensive list of why winter is objectively the best season (with fall as a close second).

Random rant and spiraling thoughts I wrote at 1 am. 

I sit at a table with girls who I am kind of friends with, and open my textbook. The thing that is always awkward about math class is that these two girls are best friends, and as they talk on and on about Taylor Swift's new album and bicker about the littlest things, I am just sitting there trying (and failing) to get any work done. It's not their fault, honestly. I just don't have the best math class.

Finally, these two girls disappear into the hallway for whatever reason, and I am left alone to do my work in peace. Of course, it's nine in the morning and, after being rudely awakened at 5:45 to take a shower, I am so exhausted I just about can't think. I ultimately end up staring at one problem so long that my vision blurs over, the systems of equations and x/y intercepts blending together into nothingness.

So I'm listening to Spotify looking for new songs to add to my playlist and it's frustrating because there are so many songs that I don't like or some that are okay but aren't good enough. And I was thinking that Spotify is like a store. In a store there is so many things to pick but only a few things are actually worth buying. It's the same with Spotify because there are so many songs but a lot of them aren't worth it. I don't even know if it's like this for other people, it might just be me that's picky over songs. And then since my playlist is so small (because I can't find enough songs to fill it up with) after a while of listening to the same songs over and over I start to get tired of them. So then I have to start scouring Spotify again for music. I have been listening to this one radio of a song that I really like for like 30-60 minutes and I only found two songs.

Now my first thought when it comes to it’s raining, ____and____, is it’s raining refrigerators and washing machines, this would be my term for like a, really bad storm, for a light sprinkle I would use, it’s raining gummy bears and caterpillars. For when there’s a flood I’d use, It’s raining blue whales. For that rain that you don’t want to be in for too long but it feels kinda nice to be in, it’s raining peaches and pineapples.
 

I am sitting in bed right now at 11:58 (11:58 is a nice time for the dramatization of me staying up late.). I am stressed about finishing all my homework. I am sitting here writing this because it is an assignment for honors English 9 (That was due a few days ago). But, I figured this would be a little therapeutic and maybe help me calm down. My heart is kind of racing right now, I’ve had coffee so I can stay up this late to finish my work. (coffee makes me a little jittery). Just started thinking about how annoying school is in the way that they are RUINING my sleep schedule with all the homework they give us. What’s it all for? But honestly, I get it. Right now I am learning time management with all the stuff I need to do. It’s my own fault that I left stuff for the last minute. My mother is my English teacher this year, kinda weird but pretty fun. I am annoyed because now it’s hard to turn stuff in late at night.

Wow Im bored, I think thats why im searching for something to write about. Yawn im kind of tired and hungry, daaaad is dinner almost ready. I wonder if its going to rain again, wow i have a very random train of thought. Oh My chromebook is gonna die i need a charger. Oh dang it we have long math tomorow NOOOOOOOOO. I think im gonna draw, but then I have to think of something to draw and i have to stand up and get the supplys but im comfy. I keep on getting the same spotify ad, its getting really old. Ooooh my dog is here YAY, oh wow she is soft, why is my dog sniffing my rug, odd, i wonder if i dropped a chip or something. She is eating a peice of tofu, she is so cute. I cant even stand how cute she is, i want to give her a huuuug.