You gather your stuff,
You cry in your heart,
You seat yourself,
Another tick on the chart,
 
A whirlpool of feelings,
A tsunami of depression,
A flood of anger,
A tornado of confession,
 
The misery bottled up inside you, begging to bounce out, yet you refuse to convey your thronged emotions, but you subconsciously know that you are permitting your feelings to take the best of you. You don’t roister it, but you’re reluctant to let go and you wonder, why? The answer subtly approaches you as you turn to the mirror. You lack conviction, pondering in your head, ‘What if it’s true?’
 

If I could go anywhere in the world right now, I would choose the mountains of the Pacific Northwest. There seems something so calming about the dense shrubbery, along with deep lakes in the middle of gigantic mountains. Life can never actually stop, but I feel like it would slow down if I were able to be there hiking and spending time with nature. My ideal day would be spent hiking to a small cabin in the middle of the woods where there is no cell service and no electricity. I can imagine myself surrounded by all of my friends huddled around a fire while the sound of animals bustling around us and a slight drizzle of rain falls over our heads.  I don’t need anything extravagant, just a simple week in the woods where the only worry is when I’ll get to stop and eat my granola bar, and when the next watering hole is. I find peace in the colors of nature and the sound of everything and simultaneously nothing while in the woods.

    I met him and we matched. We talked and it made sense. When we explored I felt at home. He was my home and I think I was his. We climbed trees, we sat on his roof, we wandered in his orchard, we talked about future plans. College, Baltimore, bakeries, sheep farms in Ireland. I told him what I’d never told anyone. I told him what I’d never told myself. He introduced me to ‘40s music. Fly me to the moon / Let me play among the stars / Let me see what spring is like on / A-Jupiter and Mars. Once upon a time, for a brief spring and summer, we would’ve gone to the moon together. It was us against the world. It would always be just us against the world. Fill my heart with song and let me sing forevermore. We were close and my heart sang. But then we were far, and my heart sunk. When he drifted. When he stopped responding, when he only called me when he was drunk, when he never wanted to see me in person. So, eventually the song had to end. We still match.

It has come to my attention that I do not remember what it is to be happy.

What a silly, useless little excuse for a word, happy. What even is it? We all use it every day. It should be obvious, apparent. Yet, what does it really mean? Does anyone truly know what it means to be happy? I wish for it. I long for it with everything I am, and yet, can you search for, let alone possess something that fickle, that strange and unknown?

How to be happy.

That is the question. Is happiness found, or is it made? You can't buy it, sell it, switch it out, or give it away. So in my determination to make sense of something I do not think I will ever truly understand, I took my need for happiness, with how it will hopefully look for me, and condensed it into one sentence. 

I shall live exceptionally, or I shall live not at all.

In other words, there are six things I need to be happy.

I need to be learned

I think that everybody already has a sixth sense that they are born with. The sixth sense isn’t something amazing like being very strong or being able to fly. 
I think our sixth sense is our connection to the Universe and the energy around us. Though not everybody is connected to this sixth sense, it is always there with us. Our connection to the Universe and energy can come in many shapes or forms. 
Have you ever been near someone who has scraped their knee or had a bad headache? And you have felt their pain? That is one part of the sixth sense. Having the ability to absorb energy and emotions around you. Everybody can do this, but some people are more sensitive to it than others. 

Hello Reader

    I have a few questions to ask. I know you might not be able to answer them but give them thought to your own life. 

Teeth grinding,
finger twitching,
knee bouncing,
lip biting,
heart rattling 
emotion.

Urrrggg
Ahhhhrrrggg
Grrrrrrrrrr
harrumpphhh
AAHHHHHH

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why                   Why

                                                                      

my lips;
a gory prison
for the words that
scratch
bite
claw
shred skin
in an effort
to break free

Yet
I hold
them back

Posion

They slither 
grabbing hold of my heart
shaking
taking
breaking
still I won't let go

Wrestless
I shift
twisting
turning
hurting

They never stop
even in my dreams

i am done with this
i am done with screaming
and having no one hear me.

we are running out of time,
if not out of time already.

what do i need to say
to make you understand
that our planet is dying 
and we are doing nothing about it?
what do i need to say
to make you understand
that the clock is running out
and we aren't trying to create more time?
what do i need to say
to make you fucking understand?

i am just a kid
i can only do so much
and i'm doing what i can
but i can only hold so much of the burden that the world now shares
because it's everyone's fault
and don't you dare deny it. 
you have the power
you have the right
you represent thousands of kids across the US like me
who want change to happen
who are using every last drop of artistic talent to get our points across
but our pleas fall on deaf ears.