OverTheRainbow

no matter what we pray,

no matter what we cry,

no matter what the news anchors deadpan

away,

no matter what the truth is,

no matter the color of the sky,

no matter the eleven years i've waited

every day my friend asks me

how many days.

every day my answer shrinks

and we shudder

willing ourselves to believe in light and truth and good

but can't help whispering

you were the first person my age i'd ever met

who loved The Simpsons as much as i did.

you nodded when i said i was secretly Lisa Simpson,

or maybe Hermione Granger,

you'd think i'd hate the way i'm bleeding

out

through the cracks in my heart

but it's an exhalation, 

relief

because the worst part is when you

turn

away from me and the worst part is when you

fall isn't what you think it is.

fall isn't

pumpkin spice lattes and

smoky bonfires and

cinnamon candles and

your new maroon woolly cardigan that was on sale for

Thanksgiving or Halloween or whatever

we weren't even close to fairy tales. but

your hands clasped in mine felt like satiny silk

on a wedding dress made for

this warmth that pricks my heart full of

blood and oxygen that tastes of you